The fanaticism of the eat only what my calorie budget allows including any additional calories granted by my exercise, was working quite well.
I wish I had written a blog entry because it would be a happy, this is great, I am on top of it blog entry.
If you remember, the primary "Mantra" for this phase of my journey was "don't screw this up."
I have not, but I have pushed it for the past month by not getting the steps in before expanding my calorie budget, and I have reverted to some behaviours that can only be referred to as "Slumming with the old me." That's is the person who has the money to buy a roll and butter and then does. Or that is the person who eats something after the voice in her head is saying "Say no to this" (Hamilton on Broadway... "Lord help me say no to this, I don't know how to say no to this...")
I am up 4 pounds this past couple of weeks because I am scared.
My husband had a health scare ( 2, actually), my sister in law was in a serious car accident (high speed chase SUV smashed into her) and it is the time of year, Rosh Hashonah and Yom Kippur whe self reflection and life and death are on the mind of every person of the Jewish faith. So, add to that a basic nervousness about travelling to Japan, the fear of getting sick there, the fear of reverting to a previous pattern of too much sweets, too many rice crackers, and too much rice and food in general.
Sure, this time, I will use my Fitbit/Lose-it relationship as I did in England, but I am fearful of my weakness. I prefer to see myself as successful. this causes more stress and I fight the urge to say, "the hell with it." Because guess what fellow overweight people, that means, "the hell with me."
So I fight on.
B
