Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels

Okay, so that was a direct steal from Weight Watchers, but it is true.  I am in Month 2 of Bonnie World recovery mode.  I am down at least 10 pounds but way way up in consciousness, knowledge and, today, a sense of "wow, this is fun" that I have not had since "the fast."

To catch up.  I have created my own world of food.  I am having the best meal of chicken and lots of veggies cooked on my grill pan once, or sometimes twice a day. I am still having a shake for break fast and maybe for another meal if I have over indulged in my "best meal."

Here is what is new and I am really anxious to get this clear and to share with you.  The fast was a complete world.  No decisions to be made about where to eat, what to eat and then, no recriminations about eating this or that, fanaticism is easy.  The rapid weight loss led to many of the happy occaisions I have documented in my other blog (a private blog) about crying (for joy) in a JCrew dressing room when I bought some amazing looking blue jeans. And looked great. [rather than the typical crying when nothing fits that we have all experienced...]

I have said that Moderation is difficult and perhaps, it might be more realistically said to be impossible, based on my 5-6 years of unsuccessful moderation (Gaining back 30 of my 72 pound loss).  Okay, it was still a successful period as I did not got all the way back... Yes, I know that, but Moderation is a bitch.

Okay, so what I have done in FLIPPING THE SWITCH was to have hit 32# up and said, ENOUGH! And I began what others have termed and I now call the Bonnie Modified fast.  Where I have shakes (1-2) and a grilled protein dinner with steamed veggies.  Well, what I am doing now is tastier and getting me to eat many more green veggies and the little bit of olive oil is just calculated in because I saute all of it.

I have my world and to violate it with a candy, a piece of bread is -right now- "screwing it up" as I am losing weight, I am not hungry and I want to keep on going. 

Of course, Esther, long of memory, casually dismissed my timing as "you always do this before you go away."  This gave me pause because it pissed me off, and because it was true.  I knew that I had done this and I also saw that I had gained upon return.  I had realized that I had lost weight before a trip, maintained on a trip because of the increased exercise, but had always gained weight AFTER the trip and it was the after the trip that concerned me.  I realized that it was NOT the after, it was the DURING that was the key.

This is way interesting to me and two weeks ago in group, I really came to an epiphany.  

OKAY here we go

Going on a big trip is like (and for some a reality) going on a cruise, eating at a buffet/smorgasbord, all you can eat special.  "You want to get your money's worth"

I think that it isn't that the food on a trip "doesn't count" like those calories in a partial cookie, or a meal eaten standing up, but that it is the NEW foods, the UNUSUAL foods, the Emotional repeat foods (croissant, Chester heights cookies, Carnegie pastrami, pan quoitren chocolate chip cookie, butter-field market cookies, soft pretzel, French fries, steak, etc, etc, etc and. In Japan, the cake, ahhhh, the cake.

In the "World" as the Viet Nam vets called it, I have a world of foods, ESPECIALLY now that I have created this "BonnieWorld" of the last two months.

I realized that it isn't the amount of food, it is the expansion beyond the calculable, beyond the basic needs, beyond the world, the "bubble" I needed to create to succeed at weight loss recovery.   So, it wasn't the croissant or fries at Paris' heart that went to my gut, it was the fries and croissant that followed me home to the search for the best croissant or a memorable meal at a French restaurant, complete with pomes frites.

So, as I approach 4 weeks of travel, my way is clear.  I will have a special meal by design, but when I am just refueling, I will keep my palette of choices ... Get it, bad pun, my palette of choices in the narrow, calculable, realm of my sphere, of comfort, of success, of "the world,". Of "my world." 

SO, no, I will not go crazy at the buffet even if I have done 16000 steps with new foods.  If I have a 10 oz steak, vs a 6 oz steak, so be it, but don't add in the dessert, it is not part of "the limited world."

Afternoon tea, scones, clotted cream... Need to work that out.  Maybe it is a once/week thing on the trip.  4 times, that is it, no more.  Ok...

Get it?

Got it...Go

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